Me and my friend Ashliegh have partnered up and have written a paragraph about us playing table tennis at camp. We had to write another show not tell with out describing us playing table tennis. Here is our writing.
Carefully I aimed the ping pong ball over the net to my opponent, who then returned the shot back to me. It was like a rally. When all of a sudden my opponent tried to do an ace but over shot the table. “Yeah. 1-0” I cheered.
Hi Vivienne, we loved reading your paragraph about table tennis. We think you did a great job of showing us and not telling us that it was about table tennis! We also loved how you started your first sentence with an adverb - 'carefully'. The words you used made it really interesting for us to read. Thanks again for showing us around your wonderful school this morning! We think your blog is pretty cool too! From Anna and Nicola from Templeton Primary School in Christchurch
Hi Vivienne, we loved reading your paragraph about table tennis. We think you did a great job of showing us and not telling us that it was about table tennis! We also loved how you started your first sentence with an adverb - 'carefully'. The words you used made it really interesting for us to read. Thanks again for showing us around your wonderful school this morning! We think your blog is pretty cool too!
ReplyDeleteFrom Anna and Nicola from Templeton Primary School in Christchurch